Ten Moments When Ben Almost Resigned For Leslie
by robert3A-SN
Summary: Leslie can't afford to lose her job just for being with Ben. But that doesn't mean that Ben hasn't thought about giving away his job to be with her...many, many times.


**1. Flu Season**

The first time that Ben Wyatt almost quit his job because of Leslie Knope came when he and Chris talked themselves into extending their stay in Pawnee. They told themselves out loud it was because of the Harvest Festival- but no matter if that wasn't really true for Chris or not, it certainly wasn't true for Ben. He certainly wasn't going to leave after seeing Leslie give the flu-ridden speech of her life, and after his somewhat mixed attempt to make soup for her.

But when Chris first told him that they could go back to Indianapolis, it did cause a mild panic attack in Ben's brain. Now it reminded him that he would have to leave Pawnee someday, and this may have only delayed the inevitable. No matter if the Harvest Festival did save the town or not, he would have to leave either way.

As he left the hospital, that fact made Ben more and more upset. If he was this upset about the prospect of leaving now, it would only get worse and worse when he actually did have to go. If he didn't want to be sent away from…..Pawnee now, he would have to be dragged out weeks from now.

But why did he have to get dragged out? For a job he barely even liked? He would take that over something…..someone he…..kinda liked?

When Ben thought about it with that logic, there was only one solution in that moment. Quit his job, make sure right now that he didn't have to go to Indianapolis, and enjoy planning things with Leslie forever.

But of course, if he quit government now, it would be much harder to get to plan anything with Leslie, if it would be possible. The whole reason she even talked to him is because he had a government job to begin with. She was just starting to stomach having him around, and that was only because he was in a position of power over her. If he gave that up to be around her full time, she'd have no incentive to be around him…..at least not yet.

So Ben had to brush aside that crazy thought, and was actually relieved to do it. It was crazy on the surface to give up an entire career for someone he only knew for a few months, and who barely liked him. If she felt a little stronger, then he could….no. No, it was silly and premature and kind of psycho-ish to think that way.

But would it always be that way?

**2. Harvest Festival**

Brushing off that Native American dust that was supposed to lift his "curse" took quite a while for Ben to finish. But thinking about the hug he shared with Leslie seconds beforehand helped the time go by, and kept him from cursing under his breath when his shirt wouldn't get clean.

This entire event was Leslie's desperate idea to stop him from firing her and every one of her friends…..yet she still called it "Ours." Somehow, she had let it become theirs in spite of all he did to make her hate him at first. But if he hadn't driven her to such a Hail Mary idea, all this certain success wouldn't have happened….so maybe it was partly his as well. Some of that was by accident at first, but still.

He actually shared a project with Leslie Knope, and one that would probably get this town back on track after all. That inspired the kind of feeling he hadn't felt in almost 20 years- and now he remembered why he was addicted to it all those years ago.

And in just a few weeks, he would have to leave the main reason that he became addicted again.

This couldn't be. It just couldn't happen now. Not after that hug, and not after all the hugs she would give him when he confirmed how much this would make. Not after…..Leslie might be inspired to give more than hugs later. Not after the almost embarrassing amount of time he's spent hoping to get more than hugs from her.

If Indianapolis was getting in the way of getting those hugs, then so much for Indianapolis. It was time to call them and quit for good and make this his new home. Now that she liked him a lot more, she would like him even more once he didn't hold her department's fate in his hands. In fact, now he had helped make sure no one would have it in their hands again for some time. That would certainly give her more free time to pursue…..other projects.

But no matter what projects they might do in the future, even the more personal ones would have a hard time comparing to this. He'd barely taken any time to really look at the festival, and how everyone was actually enjoying it. Hugs and Native American curse lifting had thrown his focus off a bit- and if he got distracted like that again, the next week would go by way too quickly.

So perhaps this wasn't the time to make any career decisions. Not when he had an entire festival to tour and oversee, and not while a Leslie who just hugged him was waiting to get his input. He had other priorities at the moment.

That might be a good line to use on the brass if he did quit, but that time was still one full week with Leslie away.

**3. Soulmates**

It took quite a while for Ben's head to get on straight after he got enough running distance from Leslie. He barely remembered how he got away from her after turning down her dinner request. But that probably meant it was bad enough that Leslie would never forget it, and never allow him to ask her out back. If it was even legal for him to ask her out- which it wasn't.

Chris laid that down all too well, and he just buckled down like an idiot. That tactic looked even worse now that he knew Leslie wanted the same thing he did. She probably hadn't even heard of the rule yet, but once she did, she would probably never think of him that way again.

Given her love of rules and how breaking this one could be quite damaging to her career, she would have no incentive to defy it. It was probably clear that he wasn't a big enough incentive right now, especially after this afternoon.

Well, there was a way around that. He could remove the choice with an option that wouldn't get her fired.

Once again, Ben did something without even thinking about it. But instead of stumbling through a dinner rejection, he was writing his letter of resignation.

He only became Assistant City Manager a few weeks ago, and now he was resigning just as quickly. Chris would be completely baffled by it, as would everyone else in Pawnee that noticed. That might make it unwise to ask Leslie out again right after he quit, but he could wait a few weeks. By then, Leslie couldn't get in trouble for dating him, and he certainly couldn't get punished because he already punished himself. As if giving up a job to be with Leslie was a punishment.

After all, he took this job mainly to be around her. If he couldn't be around her because of the job, then there was no point in having it. Sure, there was the government work and having an official excuse to be around, but that didn't seem as important right now.

Once he finished the letter, he locked it in his desk, as he now needed to think of the right way and right time to tell Chris and Leslie. But first he had to get through some meetings- and even though Leslie was in one of them, the knowledge that he was about to fix all their problems by quitting would help him survive it.

Then when he saw Tom hint at doing it with Leslie, and peeked out to see Leslie actually kissing him in the halls, he realized he would probably have to resign to get away from the heartbreak instead. But after putting that notion aside and swearing to actually get his facts straight first, he felt a little better after he found out the truth from Tom.

Of course, with his luck today, he had to stomach Tom's description of Leslie's kisses first. There was just no way to get a break.

Now that he was completely thrown out, he wasn't sure how to present his letter of resignation to Chris. As he sat at his desk, his mind was a complete jumble- but then in that jumble, he got the idea to look at Leslie's Hoosier website profile. Maybe it was a way to procrastinate before he officially resigned, yet he figured it was worth seeing what Tom's Internet profile saw in her.

Then once he saw where Leslie's perfect date location was, it sprang his mind back into focus. After the day he had, and after the day Leslie probably had in dealing with Tom, she really needed a win to end it all. So he temporarily forgot about his letter and headed over to Chris and Ron's barbeque.

As he and Leslie enjoyed their food at the sunflower mural, Ben decided that if they could have these kind of moments in City Hall, it might not be worth leaving here for good just yet. There were bound to be more nightmares on the way thanks to Chris's cruel dating rules. However, knowing that there was a way out that was stored in his desk if things got way out of hand did help.

Of course, Leslie sitting in front of painted sunflowers was a good tonic as well.

**4. Jerry's Painting**

This had to be the last straw. It just had to be. Enduring Chris's sadistically oblivious attempts to set him up was one thing. Seeing Jerry's…..vivid painting of naked centaur Leslie was an added "so close and yet so far" brand of cruelty. But actually hearing Lesle's frustration with rules lately was the ultimate sign that it was time to stop sitting on his hands.

All he could get out was a quiet "Me too" at Leslie's frustration, which was as good a setup as any. This could lead into his confession that he had a letter of resignation still in his desk, and he could go and get it now. He could get out of his job and start being with Leslie as soon as tomorrow night, and not have to be tortured so much by naked paintings and Chris matchmaking. It was all within reach in that one split second.

Then in that next split second, Andy and April had to open the door.

So with both of their nerves obviously lost, it was time to go back into the hell of marshmellow fights and cleaning up after lazy newlyweds. Yet maybe if he could still help Leslie through this painting crisis, it could lead up to selling her on his resignation.

But after she left and Andy and April resumed shooting stuff at him, it was once again clear that he couldn't feel safe to leave the house for a second, in case it burned down before he got back. And if he lived in a burned down house, Leslie would truly never allow him to give up his government paycheck then.

**5. The Fight**

Being set up with other women was bad enough a month ago. Now after actually seeing Leslie dance up with another man, he would kill for that relatively mild awkwardness. It was far preferable to actually turning down Leslie's offer to dance, seeing her get fueled on Snake Juice and what looked to be a…..fight with Ann? Geez, this really was a crazy night, and not the good kind of regular Leslie crazy.

It was sad that Ben was getting used to this kind of misfortune when it came to Leslie. With every day, it was getting harder to remember why he kept chickened out of handing Chris his letter. The longer this went on, he didn't know if Leslie was getting more or less likely to approve of his plan to leave for her. She certainly didn't look to be in any mood to hear it, or anything else, now.

Yet maybe that made it the best time to do it. He knew Chris would be here, thanks to Tom's e-mail inviting him to invest in Snake Juice. If he could find Chris before he had to read Tom the riot act, he might be able to quit and convince him not to fire Leslie all at once. Maybe if he did a good enough job and won Chris over with his love for Leslie, he'd even be merciful towards Tom when he got to him.

But doing this would require the speech and performance of his career. And that put a bit too much pressure on Ben for him to do this dry. Perhaps just one drink of Snake Juice would get him settled and ready for action.

The very next thing he knew, he was in Leslie's office the next morning with his head ready to explode. Since his head had no memory of what he was doing before he started drinking, it would probably make it easier to blow up.

**6. Road Trip- first example**

Ben didn't want to play Boggle with Chris. He didn't want to do anything but kiss Leslie, confirm that she liked him too, and then announce his plans to resign to avoid a scandal. But he hadn't done any kissing, and only gotten a halfway confirmation that she liked him. Now he felt more than ready to just go right to the resigning.

Even if he didn't want to leave for Leslie, there was no chance he'd want to work under a boss like this now. Not under a boss who devastated his plans for true love every day- but was just piling on more than humanly possible tonight. He was a good partner to have in a budgetary crisis, but he was not boss material- not in situations like this anyway.

So there it was. He was going to tell him right-

But by the time he broke out of his inner monologue and stopped staring into space, he noticed that Chris had gone to get his Boggle pieces. And once Chris was in Boggle mode, there was no getting through to him for the rest of the night. As if getting through to him was possible in normal circumstances.

Okay, that _really _had to be the last time that he got too stuck in an inner monologue to do something.

**7. Road Trip- second example**

"Uh oh." Those weren't the ideal words that Ben wanted to hear from Leslie after their first and second kisses.

He should have known that a kiss wouldn't be quite enough to make her stop worrying and panicking. All it did was make her more nervous…..but she was the one who leaned in the second time. That _had _to say something! That _had _to be a sign that she really wanted it to happen, and wished there was a way to get around it! But there was!

Now this had to be the perfect time- this time for sure. He even had a speech prepared to sell her on it. He'd reassure her that she didn't have to worry about him giving up his career, that she was completely worth it, that this wouldn't be a scandal, and that even if it was, it would be okay.

She couldn't really think that she would really be fired for more than a day or two if it came to that. After all, she had to know who she really was, and why that meant no one would let her stay fired. Yeah, that was a good way to wrap up the talk.

But as she kissed him again, he decided talking had no place in this room for the rest of their time here- and for the rest of their lives, if necessary.

**8. The Bubble- first example**

As Leslie explained why she didn't want Ben to know Marlene Greggs-Knope was her mother, it reassured him a little bit. But there were some troubling parts of her excuse, nonetheless. Mainly how she would have to deal with Chris and non-Bubble stuff "if" this became real.

With that, Ben got another reminder of the different pages they were on. She still didn't think it was real enough, whereas he got past that point even before they formed the Bubble. She had to force herself into the relationship, whereas he had to be forced into the Bubble.

Yet it wasn't like he was doing anything to get out of it, despite all his fantasies about storming into Chris's office, handing him that letter that was still in his desk, and sweeping Leslie out of City Hall. He once more wished he could do it right at this moment, to prove it really was real and that Leslie could feel safe to believe it.

But since she didn't think it was "real" yet, it made it even more likely that she would reject his resignation plan straight out, and insist on staying in the Bubble at all costs. That kind of argument was hardly the way he wanted to start an open relationship, especially if she was in no mood to start one right now.

And besides, there were still the matter of that poor first impression he made with her mother. Both his personal and professional lives hinged on doing much better with Mrs. Knope next time, before Ms. Knope could be that much more into him.

So Ben put on a smile after Leslie finished her speech, and then got to work trying to settle this new problem. All the while, the only real solution to their big problem was still gathering up dust balls in his desk.

**9. The Bubble- second example**

God, that felt great! It was the best non-kissing Leslie feeling he had since he took this job! Actually telling someone that they were dating, and getting her to compromise on a work issue at the same time….it was long overdue. Granted, he made this breakthrough with the original Mrs. Knope and not the other one, but it was a baby step.

Leslie made it sound like such an impossible thing to do, especially with her insane plans to leave the country and preserve the Bubble. But all it took was confronting someone, laying down the law, not backing down, and proving his worth to solve this problem. It was so simple when it was actually being put into practice, instead of being hyped up as unlikely to work.

If that could work out this way, why couldn't other things? Why couldn't he barge into Chris's office and announce the same thing, and not back down until he agreed not to fire Leslie and to fire Ben instead? He was so charged up from facing down Marlene, facing Chris seemed much less intimidating by comparison. In fact, it really was less intimidating by comparison.

So what excuse was there to stop him from doing it this time?

Well, there was the one where Chris was too busy working out his compromise with Ron over the new Parks Department changes. He could handle Chris and Marlene….but doing this with Ron nearby was just overkill. Although Ron constantly said he didn't care what other people did, Ben knew he would have some judgmental stares, ominous glares and chilling warnings for him about hurting Leslie. He could handle that separately and handle telling Chris separately, but not both things at once.

So once again, Ben would have to try it tomorrow. It wasn't like there'd be anything else to distract them the next day.

And then that oddly powerful mini-horse had to go and finally croak overnight.

**10. Lil' Sebastian**

Ben had no idea why he didn't offer to resign during his "Operation Shutdown" talk with Leslie. He had the clear and open opportunity, even moreso than usual. But Ron's enflamed head just freaked him out too much, as did Leslie's declaration that they were unsustainable. She did salvage it by saying that he was worth the risk- albeit not the kind of risk where they could tell anyone.

Since he made it clear that breaking his kissing habit with Leslie would be difficult, Ben knew that "Operation Shutdown" was doomed to failure. As always, there was only one real way out of this, and it was time to stop delaying it and get out with it now.

Then of course, Chris had to get himself tied up talking to Ann, of all people. But after all the help Ann had given them lately, Ben couldn't hold it against her- although he had to wonder why Ann chose now to stop avoiding Chris. Yet she couldn't want to stay with him that long, so he would just wait it out and catch Chris when he was alone.

With that in mind, and with Ben finally ready to take the plunge, he relaxed and actually talked to Jerry to pass the time. He occasionally glanced at Leslie in the meantime, and thought that he saw a group of people talking to her at one point.

After a few seconds, he let himself gaze at Leslie again- and saw her looking much less confident and happy than she did last time.

And after seeing that look, Ben started to wonder if he had put off resigning for too long once again…..and if it would cost him this time more than any others.


End file.
